How i survived depression as i surrendered myself to him
I remember my childhood days, i was active in church at St. John Don Bosco Church with my sister. I used to be a commentator, choir, attending catechism and other activities. We were such innocents and humble kids. Those moments were one of the best experiences! But when i became a teenager, I became selfish and started to rebel. I stopped attending church, immature, disobeyed my parents and sadly, forsaken God.
There were times that i was battling depression and always looking for attention. Since i was a child, when i was playing outside with my playmates. I was wondering why they were calling me "Ampon, ampon, ampon." Then i asked my mom what ampon meant? I found out i was legally adopted child. You know what's weird? I didn't feel anything at first, it didn't hurt. My love for them was greater than the world itself. Not even asking my real parents, ?why? Although i know where my real mom is and i never knew my real father. I didn't even saw a picture of him once. So i just don't mind them anymore. But some things change, somehow i get jealous of my sister because she's always the center of attention. Well, yeah! accept the truth right? Anyways, as much as i wanted to share with you everyone every detail of it, some things are better kept private.
In life, there will always be sort of people you will meet and they are the one's who are "insensitive" and "judgemental". It's always been my job to understand their nature. But sometimes i can't help and get so "pikon" specially when they are bullying you. It's so rude that when you also trust someone you were talking to and they are also the one who will judge and bully you about your past. So what i do if i really get irritated, I also do the same thing! Even though i know they don't notice that. They always misunderstand me. If i was bad to you, you need to ask yourself first, why? So ang ending ako talaga lalabas na mean (which is i know myself that i am a good person), I know i was really mean before but since i got karma, like saying to people "daming pimples", "sobrang payat", "panget" and so on.. everything i say always comes back to me like the next day i have full of pimples. So i stopped judging others.
I was judged by people and fell down many times, but i get back up again and chose to be awesome instead. I just continue doing what i love. If they don't like seeing me joyful in life, then let them suffer the hate they are feeling. It will not pull me down, that will pull them down towards underground. Some people don't understand me, behind all of my happy photos like OOTD or travels. Retail theraphy and going somewhere peaceful was always my quickiest pain reliever. To be honest, i never wanted to show anyone the pain i went through cause i don't want them to feel bad for me. I just want to share good vibes lang. (Bawal ang nega!)
If you have nothing important and nice to say, just keep your mouth shut. (Being frank is good also but in a different way) Specially if you know yourself that you are also pikon and can't handle the situation because of so much pride and envy. "Lakas makapang asar pero pag ginantihan sila pa biktima." So let's all be nice to everyone "If hindi mapigilan takpan ang bibig." It's not okay to assume of something you know nothing about. If i'm not asking for your advice then please don't give any. don't act like you know better, than i do. If only they know what I've done and been through... You don't know how it's going to affect that person, You don't have any idea what that person might do... if you continue being insentive.
There were times that i was battling depression and always looking for attention. Since i was a child, when i was playing outside with my playmates. I was wondering why they were calling me "Ampon, ampon, ampon." Then i asked my mom what ampon meant? I found out i was legally adopted child. You know what's weird? I didn't feel anything at first, it didn't hurt. My love for them was greater than the world itself. Not even asking my real parents, ?why? Although i know where my real mom is and i never knew my real father. I didn't even saw a picture of him once. So i just don't mind them anymore. But some things change, somehow i get jealous of my sister because she's always the center of attention. Well, yeah! accept the truth right? Anyways, as much as i wanted to share with you everyone every detail of it, some things are better kept private.
In life, there will always be sort of people you will meet and they are the one's who are "insensitive" and "judgemental". It's always been my job to understand their nature. But sometimes i can't help and get so "pikon" specially when they are bullying you. It's so rude that when you also trust someone you were talking to and they are also the one who will judge and bully you about your past. So what i do if i really get irritated, I also do the same thing! Even though i know they don't notice that. They always misunderstand me. If i was bad to you, you need to ask yourself first, why? So ang ending ako talaga lalabas na mean (which is i know myself that i am a good person), I know i was really mean before but since i got karma, like saying to people "daming pimples", "sobrang payat", "panget" and so on.. everything i say always comes back to me like the next day i have full of pimples. So i stopped judging others.
I was judged by people and fell down many times, but i get back up again and chose to be awesome instead. I just continue doing what i love. If they don't like seeing me joyful in life, then let them suffer the hate they are feeling. It will not pull me down, that will pull them down towards underground. Some people don't understand me, behind all of my happy photos like OOTD or travels. Retail theraphy and going somewhere peaceful was always my quickiest pain reliever. To be honest, i never wanted to show anyone the pain i went through cause i don't want them to feel bad for me. I just want to share good vibes lang. (Bawal ang nega!)
If you have nothing important and nice to say, just keep your mouth shut. (Being frank is good also but in a different way) Specially if you know yourself that you are also pikon and can't handle the situation because of so much pride and envy. "Lakas makapang asar pero pag ginantihan sila pa biktima." So let's all be nice to everyone "If hindi mapigilan takpan ang bibig." It's not okay to assume of something you know nothing about. If i'm not asking for your advice then please don't give any. don't act like you know better, than i do. If only they know what I've done and been through... You don't know how it's going to affect that person, You don't have any idea what that person might do... if you continue being insentive.
Now that i became a mother to marcus, I've learned to respect my step parents, i understand them even more. I appreciate all of their efforts and unconditional love even though i was hard headed. I accept the reality, I realized how blessed i am to have people who stood as my parents after all. I became a better version of myself and strong woman because of what I've been through. I give no room for sadness because i know there is so much in this life to be happy about and to be thankful for. Just being able to breathe is already a blessing.
One day, i have lots of realization. Everything i have done wrong... all of my sin that i regret. My husband and i attended the feast in PICC and the speaker was Brother Bo Sanchez. That day was the best decision in my entire life. It was very inspirational! Specially to my husband for helping me to remember him always, It really does keep my faith stronger and became closer to him. God knows I'm not lying. Cause i know some people who really think they know me, thought i was a hypocrite. God knows everything and i know he is with me in every trials and struggles, he's never forsaken me. Thank you jesus christ for loving me unconditionally and for hearing all my prayers.
MY RULES: HOW TO SURVIVED DEPRESSIONS
1. Stay away from negative and narrow minded people
2. Be with your loved ones, family or good friends who really cares for you.
3. Think positive and always pray to God everyday, he will answer your prayer. If not today then he will give it at the right time, just be patience (He listens)
4. Focus on the good and the future
5. Do what you love
6. Surrender yourselves to him and trust his plans
7. Heaven is the ultimate goal. So don't think of getting suicidal!
2. Be with your loved ones, family or good friends who really cares for you.
3. Think positive and always pray to God everyday, he will answer your prayer. If not today then he will give it at the right time, just be patience (He listens)
4. Focus on the good and the future
5. Do what you love
6. Surrender yourselves to him and trust his plans
7. Heaven is the ultimate goal. So don't think of getting suicidal!
Paul said:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4 - 8; 13
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4 - 8; 13
LOVE IS THE WAY!
WE ARE THE FOLLOWERS OF CHRIST!
LET'S ALL BE JESUS TO OTHERS!
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