How i battle my fears and health anxiety...
Hello everyone! I just wanted to share about my hyperventilation anxiety or panic attacks experience. Which I am battling again because of this pandemic Covid-19. Specially nowadays that most of us are having anxieties. Yes, it was gone but went active again when the pandemic happened. First of all, how did it started?
November 12, 2019. A few days before the attack, I noticed that I had a weird feeling in my body. My hands were tingling and numb, but I just ignored it because I thought it could be just a simple "PASMA". Many times, I asked my husband "why is my head always feeling like dizzy? My hands are tingling and numb and my heart is palpitating?." He said I needed to rest more and stop washing my face after work or when I'm tired. At the time, I was working on a night shift and I don't fall asleep early when I get home, I sleep very late like 11am or until 1pm. It was hard for me to sleep at day time because I needed to take care of my son, like feed him and prepare him for his school. My husband working during the day and we didn't have a domestic helper with us. We just help each other. "Sobrang puyat ako lagi".
The day before the attack, I ate a LOT of different food with my co-workers after work, we usually do this and we loved to go for a samgyupsal haha!!! Unfortunately, It is also one of the reason why I had an acid reflux. So later on, I took a nap... When I woke up, ganun pa din nararamdaman ko. And I was sooo mad because my son did something crazy, so I yelled (trying to discipline him). Hahaha "Ginulo lang naman ang christmas tree ko at nilagyan pa ng wax ang salamin at suklay ko! jusko! Na stress at highblood ako ng sobra." Suddenly, I felt like I am going to pass out. I was really scared because my heart was beating sooo fast and I couldn't breathe. It felt like you're having an heart attack or stroke. Ayun napahiga na ako sa sahig... Thank God, my husband went home early. What could've happened if he wasn't there yet? what could've happen to me? my son wouldn't even know what to do or what was even happening, because he was only 6 years old. Immediately, my husband took me to the nearest hospital. We went straight to the EMERGENCY ROOM in PRI Medical Center.
When we were in the car, I was trying to calm myself and keep my eyes open. I kept on praying non-stop to God, because I was really scared and I thought that I might die. It really breaks my heart to think that I'll have to leave my husband and son at a very young age. I'm not ready yet. I don't want to leave them. I still want to live with my family for a long time. I want to grow old with them and fulfill my purpose in this world. Too much emotion and memories came flooding in my mind, even my enemies in the past where in it. I was regretting all the bad things I've done in my life. I wanted to make peace with the people I've hurt and those that caused me pain.
When we were in the ER, I couldn't talk, but the last thing I said to them was "Ayan naaaaaaaa sobrang takot na takot na ako dahil buong katawan ko mula paa papunta sa mukha nanigas ako. Hindi ko na magalaw katawan ko" I actually thought that it was going to be my last day on earth... (My apologies to other readers who are in the same situation, this blog might trigger another attack.)
The doctors and nurses tried to keep me calm and they gave me a brown paper bag to breathe in. Apparently, I had very low carbon dioxide. They said I was hyperventilating... Everyday I was struggling with breathing and chest pain, I didn't have any idea what was going on with me. I always felt that there was something wrong, I thought I was going to die. It was a big trauma for me which eventually led to anxiety disorder. Everyday I thought it would happen again, and so it happened all the time. 1 month of struggling with hyperventilating and anxiety. There were times I thought of giving up. But when I look to my husband and my son, I figured I just have to keep on fighting for them.
One month of battling against hyperventilation, anxiety, panic attacks and depression. "Ilang beses narin ako pabalik balik sa hospital dahil pabalik balik yung sakit ko. Nag pa lab test, ECG, Blood test, X-ray, Cardio 2d Echo, Thyroid Test, lahat normal naman. Ang hirap pala ng ganitong sakit. Pero medyo gumaan pakiramdam ko sa lahat ng test kaya nawala din yung pag palpitate, chest pain, hilo at hirap sa paghinga nung january at nakapag work ako ng maayos." I'm just so grateful that I have an awesome family. my parents and specially my husband, they were always there for me to vent to and even tried to cheer me up everyday... I felt so loved by them and that made me feel much better.
HOW I OVERCAME MY ANXIETY: CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE
Although, there are times that the negative thoughts do pop up. But what changed was how i reacted to it. It didn't frightened me much anymore since I've been practicing mindfullness. I have consciously switched to mindful breathing and the panic has subsided. The beginning of my struggle with anxiety. A struggle that I'm still going through. It got so bad that I just couldn't do anything when it comes. I prevent myself from getting stressed and tired, so what I do the whole day is just sit, relax and pray. My husband would do everything in the house.
BUT HEY! I'm the kind of person who would always look at the bright side! yes to that! I thank God for everything, I knew He was there for me and with me all the time. He hears my prayers. I keep telling myself, I can do this! You need to fight this demon! Given no other choice but to deal with it, I accepted it and embraced it... I believe that i will be healed, just got to have faith in jesus.
After 5 months, I felt restored. What did i do? I focused on God... PRAY MORE to God like you are so obsessed with him. I did confession in the church with my husband because I really wanted to repent from my sins, be cleansed and be blessed by God, We did go to church every sunday, reading the bible, praying the rosary in our home, saying grace before meal and giving thanks before we sleep. I also made peace with my enemies, and it really felt so good! I wanted to be good and do good to others like jesus said "LOVE ONE ANOTHER". And never have I felt a better version of myself.
I changed my lifestyle, I stopped eating foods that could cause another attack... Coffee, Sodas, Milktea, Alcohol, Processed foods. If you consume any of these, you will have palpitations, nervous and panic attack kaya ending mag hyperventilate na naman. Sometimes, when I get to have cravings, i would eat a little(cheat). haha, I know I need to eat healthy this time and take care of my body. Bad karma got me good because i didn't took "healthy lifestyle" seriously. I had a gallstone surgery before and I also have a hyperthyroidism or goiter. Now I am still battling anxiety again.
Try to drink warm water and eat atleast one banana everyday. I drink chamomile tea before going to bed. It helps lessen your anxiety. Taking Vitamin B complex and Vitamin C. Nagiging okay talaga ako. I also do meditation, breathing yoga exercise and go for a massage. It helps you to relax, remain calm and relieve stress. And sleep at least 8 hours. I spend my day praying, reading bible, bonding with my family, cooking, watching good movies, listening to worship songs, playing piano, facebook, tiktok hahaha it makes me happy, taking care of my plants, painting, skincare and one more thing playing with our siberian husky "winter". Just do everything that you love! Make yourself busy! Avoid thinking too much, if you can't handle it try to calm down and divert your thinking to something else. Avoid negative people, it's not good for you. Don't stress too much and as much as possible, avoid getting angry. Be contented with everything that you have now. Remember, we need to fight this demon.
"ANG KALABAN NATIN AY ANG SARILI NATIN AT ANG MAKAKATULONG SATIN SARILI NATIN. SO FIGHT FIGHT LANG AT TIWALA KAY GOD!!!"
Try to drink warm water and eat atleast one banana everyday. I drink chamomile tea before going to bed. It helps lessen your anxiety. Taking Vitamin B complex and Vitamin C. Nagiging okay talaga ako. I also do meditation, breathing yoga exercise and go for a massage. It helps you to relax, remain calm and relieve stress. And sleep at least 8 hours. I spend my day praying, reading bible, bonding with my family, cooking, watching good movies, listening to worship songs, playing piano, facebook, tiktok hahaha it makes me happy, taking care of my plants, painting, skincare and one more thing playing with our siberian husky "winter". Just do everything that you love! Make yourself busy! Avoid thinking too much, if you can't handle it try to calm down and divert your thinking to something else. Avoid negative people, it's not good for you. Don't stress too much and as much as possible, avoid getting angry. Be contented with everything that you have now. Remember, we need to fight this demon.
"ANG KALABAN NATIN AY ANG SARILI NATIN AT ANG MAKAKATULONG SATIN SARILI NATIN. SO FIGHT FIGHT LANG AT TIWALA KAY GOD!!!"
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION YOU CAN JOIN MY GROUP ON FACEBOOK, ALL ABOUT HYPERVENTILATE ANXIETY AND PANIC DISORDER. LET'S HELP EACH OTHER BY LIFTING OTHERS! I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT I'VE HELP A FEW PEOPLE WITH THE SAME STRUGGLE BY DOING THIS.
Due to this pandemic Covid 19, I know there are many of us are having anxiety and panic attacks again. I am sending prayers to all of you... May everyone be at peace and put your trust to our almighty God, our creator. The best thing we can do right now is pray. Let's all be united! Amen!
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